Weeping with those…

Have you heard the Bible verse that says we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice?

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

Romans 12:15

For awhile now, it’s been hard to watch all the people I know get engaged and married after I had that very thing taken from me. I struggled to feel joy for them and it was hard not to be bitter. But time really does do wonders. Though there is still some pain as I watch them get the things I desperately desire, I am comforted in knowing that that is their story and my story is different. God’s plans for me are different and in his timing I will get there too.

But this actually isn’t what I want to write about today. Today I want to write about the other part of that verse. Weep with those who weep. Last week I experienced what it truly means to weep and mourn with someone. I will not go into detail about her story, but a dear friend of mine was in the process of choosing to follow God and end her relationship with a guy she had been seriously dating for a year. Oh how my heart hurt for her. I felt her pain, like literally felt it. Only a couple of months ago I was feeling the same raw pain of heartbreak. Seeing her go through it brought the memory of my pain back. It was like daggers in my heart. I was too overwhelmed to do anything but just hug her and cry with her. I cried with her because I knew all to well what she was feeling. I knew how much it hurt and I cried because it was the only thing both of us could do.

I felt like I was able to relate to her in a way that no one else could. I was able to tell her from experience that there is hope. That even thought the pain is hard and it hurts oh so much, there will be healing. That in time the hurt will subside and God will be faithful. I could tell her that choosing to follow God will lead to the biggest blessing because God is truly all that matters in life. I prayed hard for this girl and I began praying the same things for her that I was asking for in my time of brokeness. I will never forget the moment, before saying goodbye, we clasped each others hands, looked into each others tear stained eyes, and talked about the glories of heaven and the day when there will be no more pain.

I am so amazed at how God was able to use my broken heart and the pain I walked through to bring comfort to this girl. God never ceases to amaze me in how He truly is working all things out for His good and His glory. Even the timing of my healing journey was significant. Because I was already a few months on the path of healing my story of finding healing was able to be a testimony of hope for this girl as she entered into feeling broken. I just can’t get over how overwhelmed and thankful I am to my God that he was able to use my pain to be a beacon of comfort and hope for my dear friend.

My friends, God is always working and I am realizing that sometimes He brings us through a very hard trial so that we might help others who are in the same trial. To truly weep with someone who weeps is a beautiful ack of love and trust. It is a bonding experience that brings unity and hope to two hurting souls. It is a testimony of the fact that even the hard days have a purpose in God’s good plan. If you are going through something hard, maybe God will bring someone into you life who is in a similar place. Maybe God is preparing you to be the hope that they need to keep on trusting. Weeping with those who weep is a beautiful thing and I pray that you will also have the chance to experience God’s goodness though it.

A New Endeavor

I am continuing to be constantly amazed and God’s leading in my life.

Each day I’m learning more and more about God and how to follow him. If you told me back then that all this change would be the result of God taking me through the hardest, emotional, trial, I probably wouldn’t believe you. I’d tell you, I’m good, my walk with God is good. But oh how much I didn’t know. I feel like my faith has been set ablaze. God is speaking things to me and I’m feeling his presence in ways I never imagined possible. It took this hard path, and a radical choice to obey, to be the spark that my faith needed to grow. Trials truly are sweet times to trust in God and grow in your faith. I can say from experience that God is truly is so near to those who are broken hearted.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

It took a broken heart for me to truly realize my deep desire to write. I began writing on this blog as a way to process and now I can’t stop writing. My head is constantly full of ideas and things I want to write about. I want to encourage others to read their Bible and seek after God during the storms of life. I want to share with the world that healing is always a part of God beautiful plan and that it’s coming for them. When the timing is right, I want to share my story, but I’m not ready to share all of it just yet because I know God’s still working. When the time is right I know that God will show me when the time is right. But right now I just want to write and write and write…but I also don’t know where to start when it comes to getting your writing out there into the world. Getting your writing out into the world has always scared me and confused me.

Over the past few months I have been doing a lot of searching for answers and determining the best route I to take. I have been beginning to feel strongly now that God is the one giving me this desire to share through writing and I know that he will make it clear which way to take. I have always had a passion for blog writing so I created a new blog to share my writing on. I have also been exploring the world of digital creating and digital lettering (soon after my break up I bought myself an ipad. I’ve always wanted to learn digital art and learning a new form art was a soothing way for my healing heart to stay busy). I have been sharing quite a bit of my digital art on this new blog.

If you have enjoyed following my story on this blog, don’t worry. Even though I created a new blog, this blog will still stay because I need it to write down parts of my story that I really don’t want to be super public about. I often refer to this blog as my personal blog and I think of it kinda like a diary. But my new blog is going to be focused on encouraging christians in their walk and I will be more active in advertising it. I plan on writing post’s that offer practical advice and encouragement for growing in your faith and walking through trials.

My new blog is called – More of Thee Co. I came up with this name because as I was seeking God through my hard times I kept finding in my heart a growing desire for more of Him. It is my prayer that More of Thee Co. will be a place to help and encourage others discover the same; a desire for more of God. I also have the desire to create resources and devotionals to sell on this site that are meant to help christians in their walk. A lot of the products I’m working on are still just ideas but I’ve been working hard to take steps towards making these ideas happen.

Also, I have created a new Instagram account to accompany my new blog. If you are on instagram, my instagram account is @more.of.thee.co I have been very active on this account and I try to post something each day.

To be honest with you all, I really don’t know where this new endeavor of mine is going, but my goal is to share God’s truth with this world and with that as my goal it’s impossible to fail. I think it’s crazy to think that if God didn’t bring me through this hard trial none of this would have happened. All this growth and closeness to God, this new level of faith, and this new found calling to write all came about because of the storm God took me through. I’m confident that God is going to keep on leading me and it’s a really exciting place to be right now!

(If you guys get a chance it would make my day if you check out my new blog! Here’s the link – https://moreoftheeco.com/ )

Healing Happens

I have a message for you, healing happens, that’s all, thank you.

Truly that is all I want to get on here and say, but I’ll elaborate a little more. A few days ago (last Saturday to be exact) I was driving into town. Not even two minutes into driving down the road I was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of healing. I almost began crying, it was that powerful. I honestly don’t know how to describe it to you. It was like something broke down in my heart and my heart felt normal again. For that moment I felt like my pain wasn’t there. It was gone and all I could think about was God’s love covering me.

I’ve been hurting for so long and I think when you hurt for a long time sometimes you just get used to pain always being a part of your life. You have good days where you feel better, but there is still hurt hiding under the surface. I feel like I’ve kinda just accepted the fact that this was gonna be my life. I was going to have to learn how to live with the pain always being a part of me. But in one amazing, God filled moment, I felt healing touch my heart in such an amazing way. I truly believe God’s spirit had come down and filled up my car.

I’m not saying that all my pain is miraculously all gone after that moment. But I can tell you that something changed. I feel like I’m viewing my life now with healing eyes. If that makes any sense? The hurt and regrets are still there but it doesn’t hurt as much. In a way it’s like the wound on my heart is finally not bleeding anymore. It’s healed up, I can finally take the band-aid off, but there is still a scar left.

God put these words in my heart while I was driving – “healing happens”. And then God made it clear that I needed to share those words. Not exactly sure what to do or how to share those words, I grabbed my phone began sharing this message through my instagram account and by texting a close friend. And here I am writing this message and sharing it with you now.

Guys, I am going to say it again, healing happens! It takes time, but it happens. It’s been almost four months of hurting for my heart to get here and I know that as time continues I’ll continue to heal. Whatever you are going through, keep on trusting in God. Keep on following God and choosing to obey Him down every path had puts before you. There will be hard days but the hard days won’t compare to the overwhelming feeling of love that surrounds your heart when healing finally comes. As you are walking through your storm, let this be the anthem that keeps you strong – healing is going to happen. If you have experienced His amazing and supernatural healing then let us praise our God who loves us so much and gives us healing!

A Loving God

I am just overwhelmed by how good God is!

Guys, I can’t believe how much God loves me. I had a hard but also very wonderful past few days. I drove down to an outdoor adventure camp I work at to spend a few days cooking and rafting. I was happy to be at this place, but it was also so hard. This was the place where I met him. Just being at camp makes me think of all the memories I’ve had with him. It made my heart hurt so much. Not only were the memories hard, but many of the staff that I was working with had their significant other with them and it made me feel so lonely. Seeing couples doing what couples do at a place where I use to hang out with him really made my heart ache.

So, as you might guess, I got really sad. I was doing great, serving the campers that came and loving on them as I worked in the kitchen. But after one long day when I was done working I layed down and I couldn’t hide the pain anymore. I let the tears fall down. I just had this overwhelming sense of needing to feel loved. I didn’t know what to do. I was to unsure about seeking out love from the other staff so I took my Bible and found a quiet place to read. In a very raw and scratchy voice (my voice is always a bit scratchy after crying), I said “God, I just need you to comfort me and bring me the right passage from you word that will comfort me.” I then randomly opened up my Bible to chapter 3 in Ecclesiastes. And my heart just about burst.

This was the chapter where it talks about there being a time for everything. My eyes fixated on the parts of the passage that said “there is a time for mourning, a time for healing, a time to weep, a time for lose, a time to to break down.” All these things reminded me that it’s okay to feel the hurt still. That just like there is a time to be happy and joyful and a time to love, there is also a time for healing and all the painful emotions. I kept on reading to verse 11 where it says “He has made everything beautiful in His time.” I prayed and thanked God for this beautiful reminder from His word that he is working in my life and I read that passage out loud over and over again until I felt better.

I know that God loves me so much because I was broken, I came to Him in my hurt and simply asked Him to give me what I needed. I wasn’t expecting anything big. Maybe just a Psalm that I could relate to. But my heart is overwhelmed because God heard me and he cared for me in my time of hurting. He gave me what I needed and it encouraged my heart so much.

And there is more! God is just so good, you guys. That same night, after I began to feel better I went to campfire with the group that we were serving at the camp. One of the leaders shared a message that night. In his message he shared about a hard experience he witnessed and the peace of God. His main point in his message was that in life we will face hard times but throughout each hard time we go through God is able to give us peace and joy. The fact that he said peace and joy was just amazing. Every single day when I pray, I have been specifically asking for peace and joy in my life. I haven’t been praying for just peace, but peace and joy. The fact that he paired both those things together and shared how they can be ours during hard times really touched my heart. I knew without a doubt God was looking down on me and covering me in His love. I’m also thankful that the next day I had a chance to personally thank the man who shared his story and tell him that I was going through a hard time and his message was such an encouragement to me.

I’m back home now and enjoying some rest after a fun trip on the river (which may and may not have included me falling out of the boat during one of the big rapids and taking a little swim). I’m still a bit sad because memories are something I can’t easily forget. But I’m also just in awe at how God came through and gave me what I needed. Oh how much our God loves us! It’s these little moments when we are at our end, when our darkest hurts feel so real, that God gives us just what we need to keep going. God loves us enough to say keep following me and here is what you need to keep going.

I’m ready to keep trusting Him and keep following Him because I know that God loves me so much. We truly have such a loving God!