Have you ever seen the picture of a little girl who is holding onto a little teddy bear, and she has a death grip on this teddy bear. Just next to her is Jesus tenderly reaching out and asking for her to give Him the teddy bear. Of course, the girl doesn’t want to give up the teddy bear. But in the picture, we see something that she doesn’t see. Behind Jesus’ back is an even bigger and better teddy bear. If this little girl would just let go and release her hold, she would be given something even better.
Let me see if I can find the picture of what I’m describing above. Ah, here it is;
What I want I want to use this picture for is the idea of settling. It’s been awhile since I wrote on here, but today, the urge to write came and that picture was suddenly in my head. And also the topic of settling has been on my heart so much.
Have you ever felt so sure you knew what God’s plan was for you? You knew without a doubt that you had what you wanted, and didn’t care if it was settling. Or I mean, at least in that moment, it didn’t feel like settling.
well, I’ve been there. Two years ago I almost made the biggest mistake of my life. I almost settled. But in the moment, I wouldn’t tell you I was settling. I had what I wanted, and yeah, there were issues, but kept telling myself it was okay. Everyone has issues, right. I wanted what I wanted more than wanting what God might have for me, and that made it hard for me to see things clearly.
I got into the habit of pushing things under the rug until by the grace of God and the through the counsel of wise people God put in my life, I was strongly encouraged to slow down, hold off, and initially go another path. And now, two years later, I am so, so, thankful. Because I see now how God had so much more for me. God’s plan was for me to chase after Him. Grow with Him more and let Him be the one to give me a truly beautiful and God-written love story.
Now, when it comes to settling, there is this question that has been on my mind. If we settle, does that mean we are missing out on God’s best? Let’s say we choose to settle. God’s promise to be with us is still true, and God will still bless us, but are there even better and bigger blessings and joys that could have been ours if we didn’t settle? Taking it back to my story, I know that if I settled two years ago I would have been signing myself up for a life of heartache and difficult times. God would still have been with me through that season, I don’t doubt that, but I would not have been able to know the kind of love and joy that I’m experiencing now.
My theory is that we can choose things, and we can choose to settle on something that isn’t God’s best. But in doing so, we will be missing out on God doing something even better in our life. There is a greater blessing when we wait. Countless of times in the Bible we see God telling his people to wait. God doesn’t want us to settle. He doesn’t want us to be content with our small view of things. God has plans that are for us. Plans that truly are to prosper us and not to harm us. But we have to be willing to let God bring it to us in His timing and His way, and to not settle.
As I’ve been finding myself reflecting more and more on this topic of settling, I came up with a few things that might be good signs that you are not settling. So if you find yourself wondering if you are settling or not, below I have three things you will most likely see if you are not settling.
Viewing it as a gift. If you aren’t settling, you will view the good thing God has given you as a gift that you don’t deserve. One of the biggest differences I’ve noticed about this new relationship and season is that I view it differently. I see it as a precious gift from God. It wasn’t something I was trying hard to get. God suddenly and very quickly, brought it into my life and I keep finding myself thanking Him for it. In my previous relationship, I didn’t have this view. I didn’t view it as a gift because it was something I wanted and I strived after. A gift is not something we earn, it’s something that is given. If God is giving us His best, then it will fee l like the sweetest gift and not something we earned on our own effort.
Holding it loosely. If you aren’t settling, you won’t hold onto it with a death grip, because you long for God’s best, and if this isn’t God’s best, you’re willing to let it go. This is hard for me because when it’s something I have wanted for so long, my response is to hold on tightly in fear that I might lose it. God has had to work hard on my heart and bring me to surrender so many times. Even in this new relationship, I’ve realized that there have been a few times I’ve had to surrender to God my tendencies to hold it too tightly. But I’ve also realized that since, as stated above, I view it as a gift, I have peace and contentment about God sustaining it if it’s meant to be. I think of how Job said “the Lord gives and the lord takes away.” The Lord brought this sweet and new season into my life and I can trust that God will sustain it if it’s meant to be and be with me it it’s not.
Deeper Christ-like love than before. This last thing I want to share is something that has just been blowing me away. The love that the one God has for you will be like nothing you’ve ever experienced in the past. I used to dream about being loved and cherished simply for who I am. I thought I was loved well in previous relationships, but the love I’ve been experiencing now is so different. In this relationship, I’ve never felt more cherished, and adored, and loved in a Christlike way. I’ve never met someone like this, who loves every single detail about me, all my flaws too and the parts I don’t like. Someone who supports me in all of my interests and passions, who is actively pursuing me and taking time to get to know me more. And what makes my heart so overwhelmed about this is that there is one thing I remember specifically crying out to God for in my loneliness; I wanted to feel loved and cherished and prayed for a man who would love me in a godly way. If you aren’t feeling cherished, or like you are having to put effort into the relationship because the feelings aren’t mutual, or even that you need to change for that person, I would urge you to wait. Don’t settle for what you think might be love, or settle for something you know isn’t best just because you are afraid you won’t ever have it again. God has someone for you who will love you for you and will make you feel like the precious daughter of the King you are. And even if His plan for you is to wait, God is the one who will love you and cherish you better than any earthly man can.
Now, I just want to say that these aren’t sure signs to look for to determine if you’re settling or not. At the end of the day, the decision is yours, and God will give you wisdom when you ask Him for it. God will be with you in whatever you decide. These are just a few things I’ve been noticing that have given my heart peace and encouragement in this new season.
And now this post is getting really long, and I should end it. As I bring it to and end, I just want to say that, if you are at a crossroads, my heart goes out to you. I know that it’s hard and fear is a real battle in this decision. But never forget that God loves you so much and He has plans for you that are for your good! God wants the BEST for you and if you are in a season or a situation that just isn’t His best, then don’t stay there. Chase after Him, fall in love with your creator, and let Him be the one to lead you into a new season.
May we be a people who wait patiently on the Lord and who choose not to settle. Because God’s best really is the BEST! It will be better and sweeter and more beautiful than we could ever imagine.