This isn’t my story.

This is not the path I would have chosen for my life, this pain, this heartache. I wasn’t supposed to have such a sad story. This isn’t my story because it’s not the story I want for my life, but I am comforted in this one thing. This is His story that I’m living and all this pain and hurt has a reason in God’s plan.

I remember hearing stories of people who get so close to marrying someone and then just days before the wedding day they cancel everything. I have always told myself, that will never be me. I will never let myself get that close to someone unless I know for sure it’s gonna work out. But I got engaged to my best friend and I knew we had issues. I somehow hoped they’d resolve before our wedding date. But the problems he had were deep, sin runs deep and sin hurts others. After seeking counsel we made the hard choice to bring brought our engagement to an end two months before the ‘big day’.

My story isn’t one of losing hope. I will always care deeply for this guy. But right now God is asking me to take a step back, to surrender my dreams to Him, and wait. My story is a story of waiting for healing, waiting for peace, waiting for healing, and waiting for the God’s direction in this new season of my life. I have never before experiences such raw hurt but I have also never experiences such closeness to God. God is with me and He is leading me each day closer to him.

So as I’m waiting, I have decided to fill my days up with writing. I want to write about the hard and raw emotions I am experiencing and about how true rest and peace is always found in Christ. I want to be open with you about how real the pain of sin is and how much it hurts. I want to share my story because I know I am not the only one with this story. I hope that by sharing, those who are also waiting, will be encouraged to keep trusting God. So will you join me while I’m waiting.

Sincerely yours,

Sydney