Somedays

Somedays hurt more than others

Somedays I just want to lie in bed a forget about everything. Forget about how lonely I am. Forget about all the memories that are no longer a part of my life. But how can I forget all these memories when I still want to have them.

Somedays I wonder how I can feel so happy and full of hope one day and then the next depression hits me. I miss him everyday, but today I miss him more for some reason. Nothing triggered it. I just miss him. And all I want to do is lie on my bed and dream about the past and make up a new future.

I don’t know what good this does to me. But I do know that somedays the hurt is too much and I can’t make myself do anything else. And those days are okay. Those days are a part of life. Those are the days I need to cry out to God for strength. Those are the days that I learn to truly rest in my Savior’s arms.

Today has been one of those days.

The only thing that is getting me through today is the promises I know God has for me. I came across this letter I wrote to myself from God two years ago, on February 5, 2019. It speaks to my heart today and gives me the strength I need to get up and out of my bed. How did I know two years ago that this letter I wrote would still be speaking to my heart today.

My Child,

I can see that you are confused.  I don’t give you the things you ask for because I have something better for you.  You can’t see the whole picture yet.  There are some things I am doing that you won’t understand in your life.  But you can know that I am always working for your good.  My plans are always for you because I love you.  One day it will all make sense, but not yet.  I know all your heart’s desires and I want to give you more, in my perfect timing you will see.

Your Heavenly Father, God

Celebrate God’s Love

Roses are red, violets are blue, God loves me and that’s all I need.

Hey, it’s Valentines day. I honestly don’t have much to say about today. I don’t want to think about this holiday much because of the sad memories and realities it brings to my hurting heart. My heart is anxious for the days when Valentines day will be a day that I can feel loved and cherished by my guy. I had no idea that when the month of love came around this year I’d be dealing with another round of hurt and heartbreak.

But enough of my melancholy chatter. Yes, I’m sad and don’t really want to do much at all to celebrate this holiday, there is one thing I can celebrate. I can celebrate God’s love for me. I know that it doesn’t matter what circumstance I find myself in, God’s love for me is always with me.

So whatever state you find yourself in today, whether in a relationship, or single, or in a complicated situation, God loves you so much and has given you the best gift ever! He gave us his Son Jesus Christ and his Word. What a loving God we have and that is something to celebrate! One thing that I have done over the years whenever I have felt down is write letters to myself from God. A couple of years ago and wrote myself a valentines letter from God to cheer up my heart. I thought I’d share it with you all today. I hope it encourages you heart today.

My Love,

I love you more than you’ll ever know. Don’t let yourself feel down because you don’t have what others have. Celebrate my love for you today. I have loved you before the world even began. My love for you is forever. I will bring you all the good things your heart desires in my perfect timing. But right now, my dear one, let my love be enough for you.

Your Loving Father, God.